Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
