It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
