I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
