We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
