I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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