Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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