Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
