i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
