grandma shit on top of the toilet
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize