Where is the hickey?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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