who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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