he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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