No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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