Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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