a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
