i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
