i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
