i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize