how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
