I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
