We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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