My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
