I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
