The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
