The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
