all she had left on were here heels. phone five
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I am naked and annoyed.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
