He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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