Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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