I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize