Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
how drunk are you?
Several
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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