How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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