Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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