i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
