do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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