I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize