I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Randomize
