This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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