Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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