i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
