you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize