I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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