I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
two words: eviction party
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
