Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize