Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
