I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
