i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
