we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
