New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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