i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Randomize
