you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
