yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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