Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize
