I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
