Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
