i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
