yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
should my penis look like a turkey
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize