So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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