eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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