physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
