A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize