But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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