Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
