office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Randomize
