i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
