i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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