stop calling my apartment porn island.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
