hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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